Ferenc T. Tamás: El Condor Pasa

Do you remember our very first meeting? Peruvian street musicians played next to the store entrance. Something weird music that was so airy light, yet it climbed into our ears. Then came the eternal hit, El Condor Pasa. I stopped for a minute as the bus had just passed in front of me and the next one came only after a good ten minutes. You just handed out the store flyer. You came to me again and again. You printed that nonsensical ad in my hand over and over again. A lot of people refused, a few sent it to hell, but you always smiled kindly and had a few good words for everyone. You've given me your paper note at least a tenth time when you realized I had already received one. But don't worry, because you walked around and around tirelessly handing out your flyer and every time you touched me, you always smiled kindly and moved on charmingly apologizing. The next bus used to go, then one more and one more. I just saw you and the world closed around me. I already knew you would be my partner. I don’t know how long it may have been when my watch showed up. Others would have taken this as intrusion, but you kindly asked with a soft smile what was wrong, what could you help with? You remember, I was so embarrassed that not a single meaningful word came out of my throat, I could only lie around. I blushed to my ear in embarrassment and just stared at you. But you also received this sweetly and just giggled at my impossible situation and gave me a sip of the water in your backpack to relieve my tension.
Do you remember how long we talked that night? It's like time has stopped! I escorted you home, even though you only lived a few minutes away. Then we continued talking at the gate for an hour or so. Do you remember saying a goodbye you gave a little kiss on my face as a farewell? And I flew with happiness and as soon as you closed the door behind you, I danced accross the street. I will never forget the unknown middle-aged woman I met then and there and confessed to her that I fell in love with a lovely girl I had only met that day. I didn’t know then that I had stumbled upon your mother.
There came a downpour, and there was no bus service, so I only got home late at night - soaked to the skin, but my parents saw the happiness radiating from my face, they just smiled understandingly. You remember writing your number on a note, which of course completely soaked, so I didn’t go far with that either. In my happiness, I forgot to remember your exact address, I only knew the area around your apartment, even in the dark. I searched for a long time, I searched for you everywhere and in everyone, but I couldn’t find you. Remember that bright afternoon when we ran into each other after a week? I finally found you and I never wanted to let you go again! We walked to the store where we first ran into each other. The band played El Condor Pasa, again. Remember when you first fell on my shoulder? And do you remember the first time I kissed you at the end of this song? Then in the evening we both set this sweet-and-sad tune as the ringtone for our mobiles.
I flew over the ground with happiness. Holding your hand, sucking the scent of your hair, feeling the trembling of your mouth asking for a kiss was the beauty itself. I, the eternal lonely guy, and you, a little tousled, a little scattered, a little hasty, bare-hearted girl, have become such a perfect couple. Remember we were hiding from our parents? And you remember when I jumped into your room a few days later and your mother was just opening up to us while kissing with each other.
Our love was on fire, burned! It was scorching! Remember the evening on the first bench when we were quietly just sitting next to each other and staring at the stars? Looking at you, I saw that this eye enchants you and makes you a yoke. I became yours! Remember when, after getting the driving license, we borrowed Aaron’s car and we could finally be alone, just in pairs? We finally didn’t have to hurry and it was just us for each other.

And I remember when you went into the hospital for contraception and got the Diagnosis. You just stood there, shocked, in silent, incomprehensible. You couldn't even cry. Somewhere from one of the wards was playing El Condor Pasa. Our song.
Barely a year of heavenly happiness given to us. Extraterrestrial joy and tormenting hell. And I remember when you decided to give up hope and face against the death. You were lying on the hospital bed and your tears just flowed from the pain. As I looked at you, I knew you wouldn’t have it tomorrow. You remember your last words being a weak "I love you."? And you fell asleep forever.

Now I'm standing at your grave and I remember. I remember you. I remember the two of us. I remember our love. Somewhere in the distance, a telephone rang with El Condor Pasa. This is our song. Forever.


Ferenc T. Tamás